5 WAYS TO “NOT BE USED”
WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE USED?
Using someone means to play with someone or their feelings to achieve something and forget them without continuing any relationship with them . This phrase “use” is seen negatively because no help or expected results are achieved in return. Ambitious and desperate people use others to fulfill their needs because they are looking for a quick result or they are just playing a game.
So what are the ways to make sure you are not being used or to stop being used? Read on.
BELIEVE PATTERNS NOT APOLOGIES
When someone shows you who they are the first time believe it. Once is a mistake, twice may be considered a mistake, but thrice? It’s deliberate.
When someone keeps doing the same things to hurt you or things you told them not to, over and over again, do not keep accepting their apologies, for they know exactly what they are doing. But they have conditioned you. Conditioned in the sense that they know that even if they do what you specifically asked them not to over and over again, all they have to do is apologise and all is well again.
For instance, take a man that cheats over and over again, he cheats then apologies, you forgive him and move on, he does it again, he apologises and you forgive him yet again. Best believe that man is not going to stop.
Learn to cut out toxic people, your mind will thank you for it.
DON’T FALL IN LOVE WITH POTENTIAL.
This is a mistake a lot of us make unfortunately. We say he/she has the potential to change and we continue to put up with being used. Do you know that you can’t change someone? That if they are not willing to change , they won’t? Don’t say he has the potential to stop smoking, or to stop hitting me.
If they are not what you want after observing them, Run!
BELIEVE ALL RED FLAGS
WHAT ARE RED FLAGS?
- Lack of communication
- Keeping secrets
- Abusive behaviour
The problem with many of us is that when we first note a red flag in our partners or friends, we ignore them saying to ourselves it’s because they have a bad day or something.
For instance an abusive man do not start hitting you overnight. No, no he starts with psychological abuse, with putting you down, and saying mean words to you, don’t take less that you deserve.
KNOW YOUR WORTH
Self-worth is defined as “the sense of one’s own value or worth as a person.” When you know your worth, you will refuse to accept less than you deserve
“Things of value require sacrifice. If people are too hurt, too busy or too damn stupid to see that you’re a blessing they’ve been asking for, just fall back. Know your worth.”
DON’T SETTLE/DON’T LOWER YOUR STANDARDS
Finally, don’t lower your standards. If anyone can’t accept you as you are, cut them off.
Lowering your worth will make you feel worthless and depressed down the road, so don’t do it.
Be the best you can be loves,
Remember, wanting to Ben someone else is a waste of who you are