SO YOU THINK YOU DESERVE TO BE LOVED?

Do you doubt yourself? Do you feel lonely and unloved? Do you think you are unlovable? Then this post is for you.

“So you think you deserve to be loved”! I remember vividly the first time someone asked me this question. We were arguing and next thing I heard is “so you really believe you deserve to be loved” one would think you would be able to answer such question with certainty when asked. But that was not the case, I couldn’t answer, even after the argument, the sentence kept resonating with me, do I deserve to be loved? I asked myself on several occasions why I couldn’t answer that question, I couldn’t give an myself an answer.

Now I know it was a SELF DOUBT, but then I really did believe I was undeserving of love. Does this resonate with you?

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WHAT IS LOVE?

Love encompasses a variety of strong and positive emotional and mental states, ranging from the most sublime virtue or good habit, the deepest interpersonal affection and to the simplest pleasure.An example of this range of meanings is that the love of a mother differs from the love of a spouse, which differs from the love of food. Most commonly, love refers to a feeling of strong attraction and emotional attachment. Love can also be a virtue representing human kindness, compassion, and affection, as “the unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another”. It may also describe compassionate and affectionate actions towards other humans, one’s self or animals.

According to Wikipedia.

We are wired to love. To Love ourselves  and to love others. So why then do we feel like we don’t deserve love?

  • Self doubt

  • Past mistakes

  • Bad relationships

  • Negative thoughts/ people

  • Low self-esteem

SELF DOUBT

Self doubt is no doubt one of the most prominent reasons why a lot of us think we don’t deserve to be loved. Self doubt is a poison that slowly but surely leads to self hate, low self-esteem and zero confidence in oneself. Self doubt is the lack of confidence in oneself and one’s abilities.

PAST MISTAKES

Have your past mistakes made you feel you don’t deserve love? No one is immune to making mistakes, we just need to learn from them and chalk them up to experience.

“We all make mistakes, you might fall on your face but you’ve got to get up”

BAD RELATIONSHIPS

Relationships are hard, but bad relationships suck the life out of us. Perhaps a bad relationship or a traumatic experience has left you feeling unloved.

“Remember, people who put you down don’t do it because they hate you, it’s just them transferring the way they feel about themselves to you”

NEGATIVE THOUGHTS/PEOPLE

Negative thoughts are like a bad stench, it take a lot of effort to get rid of them. Negative people are even worse, they are like a cancer, they spread through your whole life until they consume you.

LOW SELF-ESTEEM

Low self-esteem Is the feeling of worthlessness and not being good enough.

 

The reason you feel you are unloveable is irrelevant at this point. You may feel that you have too many scars,and that you are too broken to be loved. You worry that your experiences and you’re past make you unloveable and undeserving of a healthy relationship or even love. This is not true.No one is ever too damaged to be loved, No not you, you are worthy to be loved.

HOW TO STOP BELIEVING YOU DON’T DESERVE LOVE

STOP BLAMING YOURSELF

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Stop blaming yourself for the past. Stop blaming yourself for the failed relationships. Stop holding on to the guilt. Stop blaming yourself for things that aren’t your fault and even if they are your fault, forgive yourself and move on.

BELIEVE YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH

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You are good enough! Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, don’t let negative people and thoughts tell you otherwise. Learn to ignore negativity, cut off negative people and learn to silence negative thoughts. They say or whisper mean things to you that cause you to sabotage yourself or your relationships. The great part!? You can silence these voices  and cut these people out of your life and choose to ignore them. Turn down the volume and replace them with amazing thoughts that you are indeed good enough.

WEAR YOUR SCARS AS A BADGE OF HONOUR

Scars are wounds of a warrior not a coward. Show off your scars, wear them proudly. Let people know what you went through and overcame. Let them know it didn’t overcome you. Don’t hide your scars away. Maybe your scars are physical or they even worse, psychological. Either way, they are only proof of your strength.

REMEMBER LOVE IS NOT A FEELING ITS A CHOICE

The mistake we make is to think that love is a feeling, it’s not, love is a choice! Yes that’s right!, you can chose to love yourself, you can chose to love yourself so well you don’t notice whether someone else does or not.

“If you don’t love yourself, how could anyone else love you”

Make a choice to love yourself today.

 EMBRACE YOUR MISTAKES

We all make mistakes, we all have pasts we are not proud of, we all wear masks to keep other people from truly seeing us. Own your mistakes, accept you did wrong and don’t forget you learned something from the experience.

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If there is anything I’ve learned it’s that we all deserve to be loved.

When you love and appreciate yourself, no one can put you down or make you feel lesser than you are. When you love yourself people will love you because we don’t really want someone that’s not self assured.

I tell myself everyday that I deserve to be loved, tell yourself that too.

Don’t allow your mind or circumstances to trick you into believing you are undeserving of love. You are you , let that be enough.

If anyone asks me now if I think I deserve to be loved? I answer with a resounding yes!!!!

Yes I deserve to be loved, and so do you!!!

Emma.

 

 

 

 

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